The Bigger They Are

Chapter 5, Blog 4

By Chuck Wells As Told To Ray Hochgesang


“Where the hell is he?” I asked out loud.

“Where da hell is who?”

Spinning around, I saw Ralphie clutching a giant pitcher of beer.


“He’s takin’ a dump, Man. Why ya wunt … ”

I headed for the restrooms.

… that’ll be better. Limited witnesses. Maybe plead temporary insanity …

I ripped the restroom door open, knocked a nerdy teen out of the way and bullied my way in. There was one stall occupied, so I pounded on the door.

“Come outta there, you sonvabitch!”


“Damnit, Nicky, I swear I’m gonna kill ya. I’ll count to three.”


“Come outta there! NOW! I smell that joint.”

I could hear him crawl under the stall into the next one. Flinging the door open, I yanked him off the floor. Back went my fist. The sorry bastard looked up. Terror poured from his eyes.

It wasn’t Nicky.

“Opps, sorry, Man.”

I dropped the frightened sap, just another kid, and hustled out, right into …


“Hey, Chuckie, what’s up?”

I grabbed him by the throat and shoved him up against the wall. His glasses flew.

“Are ya crazy?” Nicky choked out.

“Your stinkin’ kid,” I yelled. “Why? Why pick on mine?”

Nicky’s eyes bulged out of their bony sockets.

All of a sudden, I felt bear paws pin back my shoulders. It was Ralphie. He had me. I struggled. It was no use. He carried me outside and threw me hard against a black pickup. I crumpled to the ground. Ralphie spit on me. He actually spit on me.

“Ya always wuz nuthin’ but a pussy,” he said with all the disdain he could muster.

“You … big …dumb ass … ” I tried to speak, but my jaw moved in three different directions. “Between … Nicky … and me.”

Ralphie chortled low and intoxicated. I pushed aside the escalating pain and focused on the slow-moving drunkard. He put his hands on his hips.

“Nicky had nuthin’ to do with dat,” Ralphie said.


“I did. I put him up to dat.”


“Jist wanted ya to know whut a sorry bastard ya really are.”

“Attack my kid? For what?”

It got back to ya, didn’t it?”

He turned and ambled toward Inman’s front door. I stumbled to my feet. My mouth gushed blood. My left arm burned with pain. I had about 15 seconds to catch him before he went back in. I limped after Ralphie on one good leg, dragging the other behind me. I caught him in front of the door.

“Ralph … ”

He turned.

I stared hard at him – and swung from the heels. He never saw it coming.

First, the big ape’s legs buckled. Then in slow motion, Kong tumbled backward, slammed into the door and splintered it into a million pieces. Lying there among the fresh kindling, Ralphie wore a stupefied look of disbelief. Teetering on one leg, I bent over the big heap of dumb ass.

“Just want you to know … ”

I paused to spit out a tooth.

“Who da real pussy is.”

Copyright © 2012 by Chuck H. Wells/Ray Hochgesang

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